Willing to Wobble?

We all say, “It’s okay to make mistakes.” We say it in Toastmasters, we say it at work, and it’s always okay to make mistakes at home… Well, sometimes! We all say, “It’s okay to make mistakes,” but I wonder how much we really believe it? Do you really believe it?

If you are in Toastmasters, when you receive a speech evaluation and the evaluator says, “I have a couple of suggestions to improve your speech,” how did you instantly feel? Did you go, “Yes! I can’t wait to hear those suggesting in front of these 20 people!” or did you cringe behind your polite smile, dreading the next words, exhaling your relief when you found out it wasn’t so bad? Have you ever felt that?

At work, do we rush into the boss’s office exclaiming, “Good morning! How you doin’? I’m having a faaantaaastic day! I made some mistakes! Big mistakes!” or do we usually wait a little, silently hoping problems fade away before they are discovered?

Something isn’t making sense. A moment ago, we agreed that it was okay to make mistakes, yet no one really likes to make them, not really.  Would it be truer that we say that it’s okay to SAY it’s okay to make mistakes, but not really okay to actually make them?

Remember back, back to your childhood when you learned something new, maybe playing a musical instrument, a new language, or for me, learning how to ride my first bicycle? The first time I got on a bike, I felt the cool breeze in my hair, the sun warming my face… This smooth rolling world was meant for me. Then I pushed the pedal. Whoa! The wheels wobbled all over the place until I stopped on the pavement. Got up, wobbled again – face plant. I got up and kept wobbling until I got to smooth.

Hm, so what were those wobbles? Were they mistakes, because if I thought of them as mistakes, I might have stopped trying. What if… what if instead of being mistakes, those wobbles were a natural part of the learning process? If we learn from wobbles, then we want to wobble as fast as we can to get to smooth, but many of us stop wobbling because we are embarrassed or it’s too much work.

About 14 years ago, I wobbled again. I first heard about Toastmasters. Toastmasters – public speaking; public speaking – good. Sign me up. There was only one problem.  Most of you were once nervous about speaking in public. Yes? While you were overcoming your fear of speaking in public I was overcoming my fear of speaking. I stuttered, sometimes so bad, I had trouble saying my own name. Answering the phone was terrifying. Fortunately for you, I failed fabulously as a telemarketer. You’ll never get a phone call from me at supper time! When I found out about Toastmasters, I signed up right away.  I didn’t care. It must be done. My Icebreaker speech, I was so nervous, I peed my pants. It was a warming experience… but it didn’t dampen my spirit.

I volunteered for absolutely every opportunity to wobble. I entered every speech contest. My first contest, I was so excited, I had overhead slides, handouts, props. It was amazing! It was also 13 minutes, almost twice the duration of 7:30 before disqualification. I gave lunch and learns at work, was master of ceremonies for employee events, charity dinners, birthdays, BBQs, bar mitzvahs, Ramadan dinners. I wobbled everywhere! I was a mission on a wobble!

I was turning into a new being, a new creature, I was turning into a Weeble. A weeble is a small toy with a fat round bottom. Perhaps you’ve heard, “weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down!”

Folks, we need to be weebles. Weeble wobbling is the natural part of the learning process. Let’s shift from, “It’s okay to make mistakes,” to, “It’s okay to wobble through the natural learning process. Then we will wobble as fast as we can to get to smooth.” The next time you face a challenge or something new, put your hands up in the air like on your bicycle handlebars and start to wobble. That’s it! You’ve got it, now, “Weeee!”

If your boss asks what the heck you are doing, just say, “I’m a wild weeble who is weally willing to wobble!”

Dynamic Speaker or Magnetic Speaker?

Perhaps the single greatest question I grapple with as a speaker is, “How can I touch audiences to their soul, to the essence of their being?”  I wondered if I should be more dynamic, perhaps to captivate them.  I wondered if I should be less dynamic, but more “real.”  As I studied many speakers live, on audiotape, and on videotape, I began to realize that some speakers had something that I could not explain, something that drew me to them and held me there while other speakers seemed to let me drift away.  Even dynamic speakers could lose me.  It wasn’t until I met Lee Glickstein that I received the vocabulary to describe this phenomenon for myself and resolve at least part of this question.

Lee Glickstein, inventor of Speaking Circles®, described the difference between dynamic speakers and magnetic speakers, and let us know that elements of both are required for great communications.  This article briefly introduces Lee’s concept, shares my own ideas on the subject, and gives you resources to pursue it for yourself.

Contrasting Dynamos and Magnets

These distinctions between dynamism and magnetism in speaking were adapted from “Be Heard Now! Tap into Your Inner Speaker and Communicate with Ease,” by Lee Glickstein, Broadway Books:

Characteristic	Dynamo	Magnet
Basic nature	Staged/Polished	Real/Authentic
Primary orientation	Performance-oriented	Relationship-oriented
At best	Motivates Transfixes audiences	Inspires Transforms audiences
Opens	With confidence Punching	With receptivity Breathing
Use of silences	Pause for effect	Stop to connect
Use of humor	Makes people laugh	Lets people laugh
Primary strength	Performance	Presence
Primary mode	Doing	Being
Priority activity	Talking to audience	Listening to audience
Charisma comes from	Exuding energy	Attracting energy
Electricity source	Pumping out	Decreasing resistance in
Functional role	Teacher	Equal
Content	Tends to be scripted	Tends to be fluid

 

Dynamism or Magnetism?

“Is it better to be dynamic or magnetic?”  Good question and an easy one to answer – both, and it depends.  You might deliver the most brilliant, deepest nugget of truth, but if the audience is near comatose and doesn’t hear you, what difference does the message make?  Conversely, if you are constantly over the top, out of tune with the audience, you might desensitize them or lose credibility with too much show.

In practicing for the Toastmasters Region VI speech contest, I had to tell my Canadian audiences that my style might seem a little over-the-top for them; so just ignore it because most of the Region VI audience and judges would be Americans who tend to like a good sizzle with their steak.  I still received feedback suggesting that I tone it down a little.  After the contest, a comment I frequently received was while I was the most “real” of the speakers, the winner probably won because he was more dynamic.  Argh!

Lesson #1: Know your audience and cater to their expectations.

Lesson #2: Don’t take your performance in a Toastmasters speech contest as the measure of your ability to communicate.

I like to measure my ability to communicate by the number of teary-eyed people who approach me after I speak, share a hug, and tell me how deeply the speech moved them.

Sometimes, the most moving moments with an audience come when I leave my intended path and go where it seems the audience wants to go.  I once spoke at the Positive Thinkers Club of Kingston, Ontario.  After I exhausted my prepared text, the tongue-in-cheek presentation, “The Power of Procrastination,” I told the audience that I’d like to explore some more serious ideas (without any idea of where I was heading).  In about 30 minutes (perhaps it was 60 minutes), we shared some amazing things that I scarcely remember.  They invited me to return anytime.

If I was dynamic, it wasn’t due to any deliberate attempt to be dynamic.  I just wanted to share with them a different space from the one each of us came from.  We entered into a third space in the moment of communication, somewhere between our worlds, where we could meet openly and honestly.  There was no pressure, no nervousness, no rules.

Speaking Circles

To explain Speaking Circles®, I drew this excerpt from www.speakingcircles.com/intro.htm:

“A Speaking Circle is a safe, small group, usually 5-10 participants, where we offer an innovative, natural and absolutely supportive approach to public speaking: being genuinely yourself, and receiving positive, appreciative and empowering acceptance for doing so. The Facilitator opens with a few minutes to set the tone and discuss the nature of the work. Guidelines for absolute safety are laid down and any questions answered. Each person gets a chance to stand in front of the group for three minutes (first time participants go last) to be the center of attention and ‘check in.’ This may involve being silent and ‘receiving’ the support of the group, rather than any priority on having to speak. After this three minute round, each person, in the same order, gets five minutes to follow any thread or theme, or remain silent, with the priority always on ‘receiving the listening.’ This five minutes is followed by positive feedback led by the Facilitator. The feedback, along with the three and five minute ‘talks,’ is recorded on a personal videotape given to the participant for private viewing.”

Resources

To find out more about Speaking Circles®, look for books and audio tapes by Lee Glickstein at your nearest bookstore, Chapters.ca and Amazon.com

Book

“Be Heard Now! Tap into Your Inner Speaker and Communicate with Ease,” ISBN: 0767902602

Audio Tape

“Be Heard Now! How to Speak Naturally and Powerfully in Front of Any Audience,” ISBN: 1564556409

Lee Glickstein’s Web Page

www.speakingcircles.com

Certified Speaking Circle® Facilitators:

http://www.speakingcircles.com/links.htm

Your Journey

Through mindful learning, practice, and “being” with your audiences, you will find your balance between dynamism and magnetism.  Each of us has a different mix that best complements us in that moment of communication with the audience.  How long will it take to get there?  I don’t know.  In communication, I don’t know if there is a “there,” or if just being on the journey is it.  Is there a destination or only a path?  Perhaps each of us must answer that question for ourselves.  Perhaps there is no one answer, but only your answer.

So You Want to Enter the Speech Contest…

Girgle, girgle, twitch, sweat. Girgle, girgle, twitch, sweat.

These sounds are familiar to me now. They are my friends.  Not long ago, they were my enemies.  Just before speaking in any contest, my body would turn from serenity into a symphony of bodily noises.  Yes, I could hear my body sweat!

If the words “speech” and “contest” together in the same sentence cause you to fret, don’t worry, you are among friends.  I’ve been there over 100 times (we’ll call it 100).

100 times I waited to hear my name.  100 times I waited to shake the hand of someone called, “Contest Chair.”  100 times times I sat or paced, biting the inside of my lip, breathing deeply, or holding my knees tightly together to suppress the urge to escape to the flush central although I’d been there three times in the past fifteen minutes.

Why do I subject myself to this mental and physical torture?  It’s very simple.  Every contest squeezes the best performance out of me.  Every contest stretches me a little more.  I’m not done stretchin’.  I gotta enter some more contests!

While I work to make my best a little better, perhaps I can share some ideas to make your best a little better too.  Let’s divide these techniques into Preformance, Performance, and Postformance.

PREFORMANCE

In preparing for your speech, first, ask yourself, “Why am I entering this contest?”  Is it to beat other speakers or is it to become a better speaker?  Is it to compete against other speakers or to compete with other speakers?  If you enter to compete with other speakers and in the process help yourself and others become better speakers, then you’re on the right track.  If you enter to win trophies, ask yourself the question again.

If you happen to win a few contests and start thinking you’re a pretty good speaker, think again.  Go listen to the fabulous speakers at the District, Region, or International level.  You will return to the contests with renewed humility and purpose.

Now that your head is bolted on straight, let’s hone your skills.

Look at the Judges Guide and Ballot for the contest you intend to enter. Get intimate with the scorecard.  No need to hug it, but really get to know it.  Dig into the criteria to fully understand what it means to fulfil them.  What does it mean to structure your speech?  How can you demonstrate your flexible voice?  How will you demonstrate self-assurance without parading around like a peacock?

Then select a topic for your speech.  Selecting a topic for Table Topics and the Evaluation contest is easy but the International and Humorous Speech contests present greater challenges.  For the International Speech contest, select a topic with broad audience appeal from which the audience can take home an action, an idea, a value.  If your speech succeeds, they will remember you by the one idea they apply in their lives.  For the Humorous Speech contest, perhaps take something real in your life and exaggerate it.  For example, my 1999 Humorous Speech entitled “The Power of Procrastination” had no redeeming value, but it was an idea to which everyone could relate and silly enough to entertain.

Next write the speech.  I suggest using the method “5 Steps to Impact.”  Ensure that the choice of topic and the writing supports voice flexibility and a variety of delivery mannerisms.  Know the number of words you can cover in seven minutes.  For me it ranges between 650 and 750 words.  The higher you go in contest levels, the longer it takes for the audience to finish responding to you.  At the District level, I like to rehearse my speech at 6:15 to 6:30 minutes.  Then I can give the audience all the time they need and still bring it in on-time.

One question that will confront you is, “Should I memorize my speech or know the outline and basically wing it.”  That’s a good question to which I have no patented answer.  I’ll answer the question by presenting the risks and you can answer it for yourself.  If you memorize the speech you risk sounding memorized or robotic.  You might simply forget it too.  I’ve done that and seen it happen to others.  The risk of not memorizing it is your ideas sound muddled or you miss getting the right word at the right time.  The challenge is to get the right words at the right time without forgetting and have it sound like the first time you presented it.  It takes a lot of practice to be spontaneous, clear, concise, and effective.

Rehearse your speech as often as possible, trying every time to become emotionally connected with your material and the audience.  Every time you deliver it, it’s like the first time.

Now it’s contest day.  During the contestants’ briefing, ensure you relay all special instructions to the contest chair.  Ensure the contest chair correctly pronounces your name and speech title.  I once gave a speech entitled, “Hello, My Name is C-C-C-Craig.”  The contest chair needed a few tries to get the stutter just right!  Ensure you clearly understand the speaking area.  Ask for a change if you’d like.  Walk around the speaking area and imagine the audience seated in front of you.  Become comfortable in that space.  Remember you cannot be disqualified for exiting the speaking area during your speech but why test others’ understanding that rule.  Get it cleared up before you speak.

If you use props or furniture, ensure the Sgt at Arms knows exactly where and when to place them.  Practice this placement, if you wish, until you are comfortable.  Practice with the audio equipment.  Try the microphone.  If using a clip-on mic, try it on to get the correct height.  Speak at your loudest and softest level to ensure room coverage.  Know how the clip works so that if you have to move it during your performance, you can do it smoothly.  Find out if the audio technician will be present during the speech contest and how he/she will adjust the sound, if at all.

Encourage the other contestants.  In the process of lifting them up, you will lift yourself up.  They will feel positive towards you too.

Before the contest begins, mingle and meet members of the audience.  Shake their hand; give them a hug; do whatever you do when you’re excited to meet people.  If this seems silly, remember when you connect before the contest, you will reconnect during your presentation.  Some of the people you greeted might be judges.  They need hugs too.

PERFORMANCE

You wrote and rehearsed a dynamite speech.  You’re ready.  Still, your body is in overdrive and you have trouble controlling the adrenaline rush.  Breathe deeply, fully inhaling and exhaling slowly.  Picture yourself presenting your speech and the audience responding to you.  If it helps, find a quiet space to collect yourself.  Each of develops our unique way of getting in the groove.

When your name is called, no need to leap out of your seat and race up to the stage.  I like to sit in the back of the room to ensure that I get a long walk up.  This gives me a moment to collect myself and “feel” the audience.  Shake the hand of the contest chair and smile.  Breathe.  Wait comfortably in silence for him/her to sit.  Judges will appreciate your composure.

Look directly at the audience with absolute certainty that what you are about to say is important.  Then launch your speech!  If you feel nervous, pretend you are comfortable.  If you are fearful, pretend to have courage.  If you forget what to say, remember it or make it up.  You are unstoppable.  All rockets fired and you’ve taken flight.  It’s up to you to steer this thing.

If the mic level is too loud and it sounds distorted, without looking down, smoothly reach for the mic clip and slide the mic down a little. Do the opposite if the level is too low.

Your entire being must now gather together in a state of congruence to deliver your important message.  Every breath, every facial expression, every hand movement, every body movement, every subtlety of voice must convey every moment of your message together and believably.

I used to subscribe to the notion that when you speak in a contest, you speak only to the judges.  Now I disagree.  Everything you did to prepare was for the judges.  Now you are totally for the audience.  Are you ready to receive their listening and approval or are you hammering them into submission?  If you connect with the audience by first connecting with yourself and bringing them into your world, them you will connect with the judges.  If you try to put on a show for the judges, you might miss them because you forgot about the audience.  Seasoned judges will notice that subtlety.

As you bring the audience into your world, take them through an emotional journey, the Disney formula if you will.  I suggest upbeat in the beginning, down to touch their hearts, and upbeat again at the end.  Contrary to popular misconception, you don’t need to kill anyone in your speech to touch hearts.  If you do bring the audience down, immediately salvage their hearts, as professional speaker Michael Scott Karpovich suggests.  Give it some levity.

In my first few years, my speeches plodded along at 650 words.  In the last couple of years, I’ve tried to focus on increasing the pace through unimportant parts and really slowing down when the audience needed the time.  Now I achieve about 750 words.  One of the greatest delivery challenges is becoming comfortable in silence without verbally stomping on the audience when they needed to laugh, think, or experience an emotion.

If you timed it right, you can ignore the timing lights for the International and Humorous Speech contests.  Just deliver it, fully present with the audience, giving them the gift of your speaking.

At the end, wait for the Contest Chair to return, shake hands, turn comfortably and return to your seat.  Smile at the audience and receive their congratulations for a job well done.  I once lost my mind, stayed on-stage until the audience stopped clapping, and returned to my seat in silence.  It came across as arrogance even though I didn’t feel arrogant.  A few friends had the courage and caring to mention it to me.  I did it only once.

POSTFORMANCE

After your speech, try to get as much specific feedback as possible.  Platitudes are of little value.  If people say, “You did a great job!” then receive it with gratitude and open arms.  Ask questions about your speech to try to get specific feedback.  Focus on feedback that made you feel uncomfortable.  Look to the people with the courage and understanding to give you the guidance you need to improve.  If you receive criticism, ask several other people about the same element.  Don’t necessarily change your speech based on one opinion.

If you can get a copy of your speech on videotape, great!  Watching yourself on video will provide some of your greatest feedback.

If you don’t win a trophy, remember that the greatest prizes were the lessons you learned and those one or two people who expressed their gratitude for your speech because it touched them.

I encourage you to enter the speech contests if only to improve your speaking.  With adequate Preformance you will achieve an excellent Performance.  Every moment you spend in Postformance will add to your cycle of success in communicating with audiences.

Girgle, girgle, twitch, sweat. Girgle, girgle, twitch, sweat.  These sounds are your new friends.

Kate Peters Brings Our Voice Forward!

If the skeleton of a speech is its structure, then its soul is our voice. Our voice breathes life into lifeless text, inviting the hopeful to join us in a moment of communication, a moment of human connection.  The voice is like a kite that needs wind to carry it aloft; among many elements, our voice needs our breath. Many people struggle to breathe while speaking in public. In this guest article, Kate Peters, voice coach, performer, and author shares exercises and strategies for developing and using our fully supportive breath.

Voice Forward

by Kate Peters (Copyright 2008 by Kate Peters, used with permission)

It’s the day of your presentation. You eat your favorite day-of-talk breakfast.  You warm up your voice and say a prayer.  When you arrive, you shake lots of hands, set up your merchandise at the back of the room, and get yourself motivated to talk.  When they call your name, you tell the obligatory joke about the common mispronunciation.  You step up to the podium, look out at your audience with a smile and start off with that story that works so well.  You ease into the talk and, after awhile, it’s smooth sailing. In the end, you stick the landing and leave the audience informed and excited.

Later, as you reflect on your performance, you recognize that you didn’t feel like yourself until you “warmed up.”  You sense that your opening was a little stiff. Even after hundreds of presentations, the worst part is still the first few minutes.

Does this scenario seem familiar? If it does, you are in good company—professional speakers all over experience this problem. The good news is there is a solution and it doesn’t require expensive voice lessons or coaching (though, as a vocal coach, I am always happy to take on new clients).

Let’s consider some important facts: In the first 30 seconds you speak, people are assessing your voice rather than listening to what you say. They are determining how your voice aligns with how you look and how you present yourself. If they don’t know you, they’re trying to figure out who you are. If they do know you, they’re trying to figure out what’s going on with you. Many people fail to realize that their speaking voice is just as important to conveying their message as the clothes they are wearing or the words they are saying.  The point is, if you don’t feel like yourself in those first few minutes of speaking, you won’t sound authentic—and if you don’t sound authentic, you’ll undermine your credibility before you even have a chance to get to your message. 

So the question is, How do you make sure you sound genuine in those early moments of speaking? The answer: Breathe.

Simple.  Everyone breathes.  It’s one of the most natural things we do; however, the problem is when we get nervous or stressed, we forget to breathe.  Breathing is the antidote to stress, and here’s why:  First, breathing relaxes and energizes us all at once. Second, when we breathe deeply, our larynx relaxes and our voice settles into a comfortable, natural sound.  And finally, breathing encourages a good speaking pace that’s not too slow or too fast, allowing time for people to consider what we’re actually saying.

Here are three things you can do to incorporate good breathing into your speech.

1.         Practice proper breathing. Start by breathing in through your nose. Imagine you are a vessel filling up with air like a vase being filled with water.  Fill your abdomen first, then your lower ribs, and then all the way up to your chin.  As you exhale, your lower abs should compress as though you were rolling up a tube of toothpaste.  Repeat, but this time, as you exhale, blow the air out loudly as if you were extinguishing candles on a birthday cake. Repeat three more times, always breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Practice when you have a quiet moment alone at home or the office. You can practice while sitting or standing. You can even practice while exercising at the fitness center. I find it particularly therapeutic to practice proper breathing while driving, especially when another driver unexpectedly pulls out in front of me!

2.         Breathe into your words.  The next time you practice for a presentation, take time to inhale and exhale deeply five times before you start to speak. Then take one more deep breath and breathe into your first words. Stop after every few sentences or ideas, and take another deep breath.  Practice this several times. After a few sessions you’ll be surprised at how much more aware you are of your breathing. More importantly, you’ll immediately be aware of the lack of air when you are not breathing correctly.

3.         Just do it.  Not to steal Nike’s tagline, but the next time you give a talk, use what you have been practicing. Take time to inhale and exhale deeply just before you get up to speak.  Then, as you start to speak, breathe into your first words.  Do this every time you give a presentation. You’ll be more relaxed and you’ll come across as authentic, thus improving your credibility.

So that’s it.  Breathe, breathe, breathe and breathe again.  Of course, breathing isn’t everything.  Talent, skill and your message are also important, but if you are short of breath, you’ll be hard pressed to demonstrate those wonderful talents and skills, and you’ll struggle to make your message come to life. And if that doesn’t work, call me. I’m taking new clients.

Copyright 2008 by Kate Peters, used with permission

About Kate Peters

As a voice coach, performer, and author of Can You Hear Me Now? 31 Days to harnessing the power of your vocal impact, Kate Peters helps people use their voice to get what they want. Through her presentations, seminars, workshops and private coaching, Kate helps executives, speakers, trainers, and performers focus on finding their vocal strengths and helping these individuals express themselves in ways supportive of their professional and personal lives.

Based in Orange County, CA, Kate has taught voice privately and in colleges and universities for over 25 years.  In addition, she has been the vocal trainer for many successful business clients, and has been a featured speaker with the University of California Alumni Association, the Council for Advancement and Support of Education, Women in Business, Rotary, the National Association of Female Executives, the Council of Women Realtors and others. She has been a featured guest on many radio stations including the KNX Business Hour in Los Angeles, and Women Aloud, with Mo Gaffney and Shana Wride.  To learn more, visit her web site at www.KatePeters.com or her blog at www.KatePeters.com/blog.

Table of Contents

Use the links in the tables to select individual articles or scroll down through this page and read ‘em all!

Articles by Craig Senior

Title	Author and Synopsis
Angelic Evening	Story of serving as master of ceremonies for the Angel Consultants and Peggy McColl.
Fools Worth Seeing!	A Company of Fools is a fantastic group of actors in Ottawa – Worth seeing!
Get the FAQs on Humour!	Introduces the FAQ Guys and links to their article on humour.
Hello, My Name is C-C-C-Craig	My challenge with stuttering and how you can better deal with people who stutter.
How to Structure a Speech	5 Steps to Impact – powerful speech Writing Made Quick and Easier
I’m a Star… Or at Least in One!	My experience being interviewed for a local newspaper.
Just Be Yourself!	Discusses whether the often heard phrase “Just be yourself,” is to develop public speaking.
Record Your Speeches!	How you can benefit from recording your speeches.
Speaking from the Heart vs Using Techniques	Written debate on the merits of “speaking from the heart” or “using techniques.”
Stuttering to Speaking	How I started from stuttering to public speaking and my drive to help others do the same.
Toastmasters Table Topics Champ (x4)!	My experience in winning the Toastmasters District 61 Table Topics 2007.
What’s Next?	Listen to the first keynote I actually recorded at EDC Toastmasters. Hearing myself inspired the article and attitude about recording myself. I do it all the time now!
Why Bother Staying in Toastmasters	After you overcome your fear of speaking in public, then what?

 

Articles by Others

Title	Author and Synopsis
Evolving the Egoless Speaker in You	Terry Gault of the Henderson Group suggests how removing egocentricity from our speaking gets us closer to speaking authentically.
Magnet for Money – A Living Attitude	Peggy McColl special offer to help you become a Magnet for Money.
Speaking as Singing: Beyond Vocal Variety	Barclay McMillan of Voice Emergent takes us beyond speaking techniques to that place from where our authentic voice emerges – inside.

 

How to Structure a Speech

5 Steps to Impact – Powerful Speech Writing Made Quick and Easier

Introduction

Speech writing might be painful for you: perhaps you struggle in endless hours of speech preparation and still wind up with a speech that is unfocused, unclear with a meandering train of muddled thoughts. With minimal preparation, you can make your presentations clear and memorable. Do this using the “5 Steps to Impact” process.

Get the FAQs on Humour!

If you never heard about the FAQ Guys on public speaking, ya just gotta. My colleagues Eric and Andrew, all the way from Singapore, are getting the word out: YOU TOO CAN LEARN TO SPEAK IN PUBLIC.

They published the best-selling The FAQ Book on Public Speaking, packaging our learning in FAQ-sized chunks.

Enjoy reading and listening to their most recent article, “If You Want To Become a Funny Speaker, You Got To Know This…”

http://blog.ericfeng.com/if-you-want-to-become-a-funny-speaker-you-got-to-know-this/

Pamma Durnin – “Just Be Yourself!”

Pamma Durnin and I met some years ago, I’m unsure how anymore. She helps so many people to find a place of safety within which they can find and speak from their authentic selves. She offers this article to us as her gift.

 

“Just Be Yourself!”

I’ve had clients say to me that they didn’t want to “be themselves” because they didn’t “like themselves,” but when I then asked them to tell me about times – even just one time – that they liked their own company, they remembered how happy they felt just being them!We all have a “best self” – this I believe is our true self.  And it is this true self that I am referring to in this article when I speak of “being yourself”.  We could also refer to being ourselves as being authentic.  To me, authenticity simply means that we are sincere, and that our actions – and our body language – meet our words.

What does “being myself” look like?

When we are being ourselves, we feel comfortable, relaxed and at ease.  It’s easier to be spontaneous or funny when we are being ourselves and in this state we are more likely to be heard by others, perhaps because we are less likely to worry about what others think of us.  Why?  Because simply put, we are happy in our own shoes, and when you’re okay with it (or ‘you’) so is everyone else.

How do I know when I am not “being myself”?

Evolving The Egoless Speaker in You

Terry Gault submitted these terrific comments. It seemed like more of a service to present them to you as a guest article than leave them buried as comments. If you visited the Web site of The Henderson Group, there is a short video you might find interesting. You can also enter to possibly win a free seat at their quarterly workshop “The Art of Presentations.” See Terry’s  Ruminations blog, including some great videos. Enjoy and learn…

One client approached during a workshop and asked me, “Terry, you are telling me to demonstrate more power and authority with greater volume AND you are telling me to be authentic. That feels like a contradiction to me. Can you help me with that?”Having heard variations of this question over the years, I felt that I had a breakthrough in articulating my meaning that particular day. I asked him, “If the desire to demonstrate greater power comes from deep inside you, and the realization of that in your style requires that you change, what could be more authentic than that?” The question that I put to clients and to workshop participants is not, “What is your style?” as “What do you want your style to be?” Not, “Who are you?” but “Who do you want to be?”

Recently, I was introduced to Carol Dweck’s book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.” I recommend it very highly. Dweck is a psychologist who has taught both at Columbia and Stanford Universities.

Her central thesis is that there are 2 basic mindsets that people operate from:

1. The Fixed Mindset
2. The Growth Mindset

Just Be Yourself

I often hear these words of encouragement from well-intentioned people suggesting how others could improve their public speaking. “Just be yourself.”

I always wondered what these words meant. “Just be myself.”

Who else would I be? I can’t be you. I can try to be you, or your neighbour, but I would eventually return to being me. I have no choice but to be me. It isn’t something I can vote on, but how does my being me relate to speaking in public? What if I was shy and usually spoke in quiet, whispery tones and rarely met eyes with others. What does being myself mean and is it helpful in public speaking?

Instead of depending on only my opinion for this answer, I asked the opinions of other speakers and speech coaches. The question was, “What does, ‘Be yourself,’ mean to you? To be or not be oneself, what would one do?”

Here are their answers.